Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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