plz talk dirty to me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
