I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
