Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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