you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
sex in a hospital.. check
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
