Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
