dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
