literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
