I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
