I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
