So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
