I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
