I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
