yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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