When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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