Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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