Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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