when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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