He kissed a someone with a penis
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
