he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
