I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
