I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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