YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
