Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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