the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
