not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
