I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
