Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i think i just lost a toe
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
