i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
