We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
