He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
