Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
