Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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