I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
