Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
