Where is the hickey?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think my moral compass just broke
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
