Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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