oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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