You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
