tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
