YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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