K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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