Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
