He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You pole danced in your parka.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
