I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
