16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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