I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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