i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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