end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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