he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
