I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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